BEES! BEES I TELL YOU!

So my usual running route passes by a bee hut - because, apparently, to the Swiss bees are cute and cuddly and should be kept in large huts near public walkways.  Anyway, I digress. Usually I stop in front of the hut to admire the bees and their constant flying to and fro, to listen to the "buzz" caused by literally thousands of bees working away, and to embrace the beauty of nature. And that's when nature decided to attack me. First, one bee felt like it got stuck in my hair - but, having remembered one of the many life lessons in the film Jerry Maguire, I knew that bees could smell fear, so I kept my cool and tried to gently encourage it out of my hair. Then a second joined. And a third, and a fourth, and eventually I lost count. I was swinging my head frantically in an attempt to dislodge my attackers. Then, I felt a few go down the back of my top. That was it - DECENCY BE DAMNED!  I lost all my cool, composure (and, it turns out, dignity), and tore my t-shirt off and ran through a farmer's field trying to lose the little b*stards who seemed intent on killing me. 

Eventually the bees dispersed, leaving me alone standing in the middle of a field, topless and looking every inch dishevelled. That's when I noticed a hapless dogwalker watching me from afar in horror. I tried to compose myself and, in absolutely awful German, attempted to explain to him what he just witnessed was an unprovoked attack by nature, and not some mental Ausländerin running amok. Unfortunately, my "Teach Yourself German" CD doesn't seem to cover animal attacks, weird, so it sounded more like... "I... I have... sorry... I am fear... hello... greetings".

I managed to emerge relatively unscathed, save for this bee sting in my arm and potentially mentally scarring an innocent bystander.

My good friend, Lesley, sent me this clip from YouTube which I think accurately portrays what happened.